How Great Was Oregon Trail?

Oregon Trail along with other mentionables in the article below were defining qualities of the decade for kids in the 90s.

Things Us 90's Kids Realize Now (Part II)

by Christopher Hudspeth

It beats Adam West's portrayal back in 1000 B.C. It tops George Clooney's hard nipple bat suit and it damn sure beats Christian Bale's "on the toilet after eating Chipotle" Batman voice.

The morning after pill, whiteout, tape, glue, Ctrl+Z -- these are some of the great quick fixes in the world. BUT, none of them compare to blowing. That’s right, all it took was a huff, a puff and a blow into the cartridge and BOOM, it magically worked. Try blowing on your Call of Duty disc when it’s scratched, see if it works any better… (heads up, it won’t)

If there was ever a good time to watch grown men lather up in baby oil and fake fight, it was the 90’s. At least we had The People’s Eyebrow, Hulkamania and Stone Cold, what’s the excuse for watching muscley, lubricated men rasslin’ now?

Not once do I recall being even slightly scared by a Goosebumps book  --- but I was always thoroughly entertained. Now, “Are You Afraid Of The Dark?” -- that show made me double check under the bed and in the closet a couple times.

Silver Snakes, big stone faces, a cool host (by 90’s standards) and sweet competitions makes for the greatest game show ever. Double Dare and Wild & Crazy Kids aren’t far off though.

The shoes lit up. THEY F****** LIT UP! Unless someone invents a shoe that dispenses ice cream sandwiches and plays Bob Marley every time you take a step -- the LA Lights shoes will be second to none.

If you grew up in the 90‘s, surely you played & mastered Mortal Kombat. Kids today have fighting games with nice graphics and fancy controls, which is cool BUT I could kick your ass with 4 buttons and an arrow pad -- no control sticks necessary. Now-a-day any button masher can prosper on fighting games.

Give me an ox, some sunflower seeds, a Gatorade and a box of band-aids and I can trot the globe. Why? Because I played Oregon Trail and it literally taught me everything there is to know about 19th century pioneer traveling. That’s right. I’m a certified expert. A lot of kids today can’t even walk two blocks without a cell phone.

Nobody worth knowing doesn’t like Space Jam. It was a one of a kind movie for our youth. Only Michael Jordan could’ve pulled off that role. This new generation seems to think Kobe can compare -- WRONG. If Kobe played for the Tunesquad he’d kill team moral with his selfish, ball hog tendencies -- then he’d rape the girl Bunny.

(from CollegeHumor.com)

I still make Space Jam references to this day. 

Until next time when I'd like to...

B. Heard